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A Reminder of George Carlin’s Greatness

No one knew the importance of using the rights words better than the late, great George Carlin. Here is a reminder of his greatness: using the right words when describing baseball and football.

Football, like most sports, scores points and is led by a coach. In baseball, one scores runs and is led by a manager.

Football is technological, baseball is pastoral.

Football is played in a stadium, baseball in a park.

Football is played on a gridiron, baseball is played on field.

In football, you wear a helmet. In baseball, you wear a cap.

Football is concerned with downs; baseball, ups.

In football, the specialist comes in to kick. In baseball, he relieves. (He also pinchhits, which I think is just as wussy as relieves.)

In football, you receive a penalty. In baseball, you make an error.

Football has hitting, clipping, spearing, blocking, piling on, late-hitting, unnecessary roughness and personal fouls. Baseball has the sacrifice. (It also has hitting, clubbing, spiking and head-on collisions, but I guess George wanted to ignore that.)

Football has the two-minute warning. Baseball has a seventh-inning stretch.

Football is rigidly timed and will end even if we have to go to sudden death. In baseball, we might have extra innings.

The object of football: for the quarterback, otherwise known as the field general, to be on target with his aerial assault, riddling the defense by hitting his receivers with deadly accuracy in spite of the blitz, even if he has to use the shotgun. With short bullet passes and long bombs, he marches his troops into enemy territory, balancing  this aerial assault with a sustained ground attack, which punches holes in forward wall of the enemy’s defensive line.

In baseball, the object is to go home. And to be safe.

Until next time! Use the right words!


March 27, 2014 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

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