usingtherightwords

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Examples of Good Commercial Writing


One of my many services is helping people write their elevator speeches (also known as 30- or 60-second commercials). When I attend networking meetings and listen to the commercials each person gives, I often shake my head at how bad so many of them are.

To be good, a 30-second commercial must be memorable, clever and unique. Often a rhyme helps, as does putting twist on some well-known saying.

Last night, I heard more than my fair share of bad ones. But there were several very good ones.


 

a travel consultant: “I’ll always tell you where to go.”

a woman who sells cemetery plots: “I sell prime real estate in the dead center of town.”

a computer repairman: “Realtors will tell you that the three most important words are location, location, location. But in computing, the three more important words are backup, backup, backup.”

a mobile notary: “If it isn’t notarized, it isn’t authorized.”

a videographer: “You can’t hear it in a photograph.”

a computer consultant: “I’m available during regular business hours, nights, weekends; no other times.”

a diamond merchant, in her best Mae West impersonation: “Mae West used to say, ‘… diamonds are my career.’ Well, diamonds really are my career.”

a woman who puts out a newsletter for senior citizens: “Keeping seniors more alive with Suddenly 65.”


 

Until next time! Use the right words!

It’s here! My début book, “If You Experience Death, Please Call: And Other Fatal Mistakes We Make With Language” is out and available on Amazon. Order now for just $14.95. Contact me on my website to reserve your copy or Order here.

leebarnathan.com

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October 29, 2015 - Posted by | Uncategorized | , ,

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