usingtherightwords

Guaranteed to improve your English

Enjoy These Post-Thanksgiving Turkeys


Thanksgiving is a time to, among other things, gorge on food and give thanks for family, friends, health, good fortune, etc. Unfortunately, while we did these things, I heard people utter the following turkeys, and I now add my smarmy comments:

“You get to see people in clothes.” (As these were older people, I shuddered at the alternative.)

“I want to thank Pete for shaking things off.” (Shouldn’t you be thanking Taylor Swift instead?)

“Twelve or 13 years ago, my father passed on.” (Passed on what? Cranberry sauce?)

“I drive a (Ford) Mustang.” (Said the man who works at Toyota.)

Burp.

Until next time! Use the right words!

leebarnathan.com

Advertisements

November 29, 2016 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Does Warren Buffet Know?


 

Another day, another obvious email scam, this time allegedly from Warren Buffet.

I have never met Buffett, but I’ve got to believe that his command of English is better than this “author.”

ME MR WARREN AND MY WIFE SUSAN BUFFETT

Date 19/11/2016

Greetings To You From Mr Warren Edward Buffet,

it is categorically cleared that you have emerge as MY beneficiary. This is to
inform you about my plan to send your fund to you via Diplomatic cash delivery
system. This system will be easier for you and I.The 5,000,000,00 USD was deposited
with a security company in Nigeria for security reasons and better protection of the
funds with help of my bank in Nigeria.note I am going to send your donation amount
of (5,000,000.00 USD) To you via diplomatic delivery.I have secured every needed
document to cover the money. Note: The money is coming on (2) two security proof
boxes. The boxes are sealed with synthetic nylon seal and padded with machine.
Please you don’t have to worry for any thing in respect of this your transaction.The
boxes are coming with a Diplomatic agent who will accompany the boxes to your house
address. THE BOX SECURITY CODE NUMBER IS (214)

Do make sure you switch on your mobile phone so that the diplomat will establish
communication with you upon his arrival. Be informed of the delivery schedule that
will be use in bringing your donation award which you obtain from me Mr Warren
Buffet. The diplomat will be leaving Nigeria by 18:00 (GMT). Nigeria time, to arrive
in your USA for registration and tagging of your package formalities before he
proceed to your door step latest 18:00 Hours (GMT) U.S.A time due to the large time
difference and when he arrive he will book an appointment with you on how you are
going to meet. Below is the details of the delivery schedule:

NAME OF DIPLOMAT AGENT: MR. EDDIE SCOTT

EMAIL ADDRESS: eddiescott110@gmail.com

DISPATCHING AIRPORT MURITALA INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT LAGOS NIGERIA ARRIVING AIRPORT: (JFK) JOHN KENNEDY AIRPORT NEW YORK USA

THE DIPLOMAT NEEDS THE FOLLOWINGS DETAILS FOR ACCURATE DELIVERY OF THE TWO CONSIGNMENT BOXES,PLEASE FILL THE FORM CORRECTLY AND SEND TO MR EDDIE SCOTT EMAIL: eddiescott110@gmail.com

YOUR FULL NAME :

HOUSE ADDRESS :

CLOSEST AIRPORT IN YOUR CITY:

CELL NUMBER:

PHONE NUMBER:

OCCUPATION:

AGE:

COUNTRY:

SEND THE ABOVE INFORMATION TO THE DELIVER MAN MR EDDIE SCOTT AT HIS EMAIL: eddiescott110@gmail.com

NOTE: I RECEIVED ALERT FROM AMERICA GOVERNMENT THAT YOU WILL MAKE PAYMENT FOR REGISTRATION AND CLEARANCE OF YOUR $5 MILLION USD WHICH WILL COST YOU $960 BEFORE THE DIPLOMAT CAN BE ALLOWED TO DISPATCH THE FUNDS TO YOUR DOOR STEP, YOU WILL BE RESPONSIBLE FOR THAT PAYMENT NOT THE DIPLOMAT.I AM NOT ASKING YOU TO SEND ME ANY MONEY BUT THIS CLEARANCE FEE IS A VAT AIRPORT CHARGES THAT A BENEFICIARY WILL PAY TO
HIS OR HER GOVERNMENT,I HAVE PAID FOR THE FLIGHT TICKET,THE HOTEL EXPENSES AND THE DIPLOMAT FEEDING WHILE HE IS IN UNITED STATES BUT I CAN NOT PAY FOR THE CLEARANCE FEE BECAUSE YOUR NAME IS SUPPOSE TO BE ON THE CLEARANCE RECEIPT AND CERTIFICATE AS THE BENEFICIARY SO THAT YOU CAN EASILY DEPOSIT IN YOUR BANK ACCOUNT OR MAKE GOOD USE OF THE MONEY IN YOUR CITY WITHOUT ANY PROBLEM.PLEASE KINDLY UNDERSTAND THAT I AM NOT
ASKING YOU FOR ANY MONEY,AND I WILL NOT ASK YOU TO SEND ME ANY MONEY.

IMPORTANT ADVISE: DO NOT ATTEND TO ANY OTHER PERSON IN RESPECT OF YOUR FUNDS TO AVOID IMPERSONATION OR DIVERSION SO BE WARNED, AND ANY MAIL YOU RECEIVE WITHOUT THIS CODE(FG/AHG/XGX/214) KINDLY IGNORE AND DISREGARDS IT, ALSO DO FORWARD IT TO ME FOR SECURITY PURPOSE.DO CONTACT MR EDDIE SCOTT AT HIS EMAIL: eddiescott110@gmail.com
CONTACT HIM IMMEDIATELY AND NOTE HE WILL ARRIVE IN UNITED STATES SOONER

 

Questions:

  1. Why is it always Nigeria?
  2. How do you pad with a machine?
  3. Why all capital letters?
  4. How can I stop Mr. Eddie Scott (or whomever is behind this) from scamming anyone else?

Until next time! Use the right words!

leebarnathan.com

November 22, 2016 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , | Leave a comment

Is it Really “Alright/All Right?”


As I completed my gym workout,  I spilled water from my bottle onto the floor. There was enough water to make a square yard-sized puddle.

I did my best to sop it up with paper towels, and then I told the woman at the front desk that I spilled water in the stretching area and it’s not completely dry.

Her response: “That’s alright.”

As I walked to my car, I thought, No, it’s not alright, or all right. I made a mess and possibly jeopardized the safety of some other gym patron. If it really was all right (or alright, the adverb form of all right), everything would be all right, and jeopardizing the safety is not all right (or alright).

We use terms, including alright/all right, too casually without considering what the words mean. To make sure, I looked up all right.

It is informal speech meaning, “agreeable, acceptable, or commendable.”

I find it hard to believe that my gym would agree or accept my puddle; similarly, why would I be commended for leaving a puddle? About the only commendable act was my informing the woman that there was a puddle.

The more appropriate response would have been: “Thank you for telling me.”

Once the staff cleaned the puddle, or once it dried, then everything would be alright.

Or all right.

Until next time! Use the right words!

leebarnathan.com

November 15, 2016 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Response to a Scam Email


I’m not sure if I should laugh, cry or wince. Maybe all three.

I especially love how this obvious scam email tries to establish credibility with a link that supposedly takes you to the actual BBC News website’s home page but in fact goes to an Error 404 message. How legitimate is that?

I am Attorney Mamadou Samurai , I have decided to bestow this trust on
you, which I pray you will not ignore or betray. I apologize in
advance for any inconveniences this may cause you. I am the Personal
Attorney to late Engineer P. B. Corcoran, who was a contractor here in
Benin Republic. He died 2003 with his entire family perished in
Air-Crash on board from Cotonou. View the below BBC web site for more
information, http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/ africa/3348109.stm

As a matter of fact, my client made a fixed deposit amount, valued at
($18.5m) Million USD with a Financial Institution here in Benin Rep,
upon the duration time of their agreement, His Bank started contacting
him but no response consequently, the bank issued me a notice to
provide the next of kin to the deceased as his personal attorney, or
have his account confiscated after ten years, as it is in the law of
this country.

Since then, I have made several contacts to his countries embassy in
order to locate any of my clients extended relatives, which had also
been unsuccessful. Since I have been unsuccessful in locating the
relatives for over two years now, I seek your consent to present you
as the next of kin of the deceased since none of his relatives were no
way to be found so that the proceeds of this account valued at $18.5
million dollars could be transferred into your bank account.
Thereafter, we will both share it in percentage according to our
contributions to boost the success of this great transaction.

I have all the necessary information’s that can be used to back up the
claims from the bank where the fund was deposited by the deceased. All
I require is your honest cooperation to enable us make this great
benefiting transaction successfully.

I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement
that will protect you from any breach of the law. And the way we are
going to achieve this, I will need the following information from you,

Your Full Name and Address, Your Age, Occupation and Position,
Your Telephone and Mobile for Communication Purpose. For privacy, reply to my
private Email attorneymamadousamurai3@gmail.com

I await your reply ASAP.

Best Regards,
Attorney Mamadou Samurai

If I could reply, I’d reply like this:

Dear Mamadou Samurai (if that is indeed your real name. How do you get an African name meaning  “Mohammed” and a Japanese name meaning “a member of the warrior class of feudal Japan?”):

Not only do I ignore and betray this trust, I don’t apologize for anything. There is no P.B. Corcoran, no plane crash, no money, no embassy contacts. I am not the next of kin, nor have I ever been to Africa. You cannot pass me off as next of kin as this is an illegal act and, therefore, not a legitimate arrangement as you say. This is obviously a scam and I will report you to the highest authority. There is nothing legitimate about this. It is all a breach of law. There is nothing honest about cooperating with you. You will never get my personal information, and I will not be privately replying to your private email ASAP.

You obviously don’t speak English as a first language, for if you had, you would have known the following:

  1. What to capitalize and not capitalize,
  2. Proper punctuation,
  3. Proper word tense,
  4. Proper word choice (example: “countries embassy” instead of “country’s embassy and the name of the country: Republic of Benin, not Benin Rep)
  5. Redundancy

Worst Regards.

Until next time! Use the right words!

leebarnathan.com

November 8, 2016 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Another One?


I’m thinking my next book ought to be a collection of emails that clearly are scams because the writer (writers?) obviously don’t speak English as a first language.

I’ll be honest: I didn’t even bother counting the mistakes.

Attn: Beneficiary,

I am Mr Jimmy West,the director of Diamond Bank Benin. This is to

bring to your notice that my office has taking over all the money

Transaction originated from any part of African/ Europe and Asia

counties etc. as Contract payment,Fund inheritance or Lottery

Winning due to Unauthorized/incapability of financial

Institutions/security companies In releasing such huge sum of

money due to Fraud,

terrorist and money Laundry activities going on world wide.

The World Bank Group has Mandated the Diamond Bank Benin via my

Office to release funds to beneficiaries through Cash delivery, Hence

Your Name appears as one of The fund beneficiaries whom their

fund was successfully cleared recently From Terrorist and Money laundry

and your money will be released to you Through International

Cashier’s Bank Draft that will be cash able from any

International Bank in your country or cash delivery been the only way you would

receive Your money to avoid paying excess charges.

As regard to this arrangement,you are advised to contact the

telex director DR. SHITU ABUBAKAR through his direct line

0022967901883 Contact DR. SHITU ABUBAKAR with the contact

information below. Telex director Diamond bank Benin.

Name: DR. SHITU ABUBAKAR

DIRECT TEL: 0022967901883

Email:diamondbank04@citromail.hu

You are therefore advised to forward your direct telephone

numbers, Your complete name and your house address to DR. SHITU

ABUBAKAR for Immediate release of your fund to you Most importantly be

aware that ($3.5Million Dollars) Only was allocated to you,

Be also informed that the Fund Approvals and authorization

document Including Anti-terrorist Clearance Certificate was

issued in your name and has been handed over to DR.SHITU ABUBAKAR to

release to you.

Finally,DR.SHITU ABUBAKAR is standby to receive your

communication and Release your fund to you through Cash

delivery without further

delay.

Make your contact directly to him through Email contact any time

because we are working 24 Hours to be able to meet with the

mandate given by the World Bank,

Thanks for your maximum

cooperation. Mr Jimmy West

Ugh.

Until next time! Use the right words!

leebarnathan.com

November 3, 2016 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment