Guaranteed to improve your English

An Unbelievable Email

I received the following email. There just is no way this is real.

I am Mr.Donald Trump the president of the united states of america and I am written to inform you about your Bank Check Draft brought by United Embassy from the government of Benin Republic to the white house Washington DC and has been mandated
to be deliver to your home address on Friday, being June 02, 2017 as soon as you get back to me with your below information.

Receiver's Name_______________
Address: ________________
City _______________
Country: ____________
Next Of Kin_____________
Phone Number: _____________
Text Question And Answer___________
Attach Copy Of Your ID _____________
You check is containing the sum of $60 million USD.
Here is my number.(253)336_8597) and (202) 852-3953) E-mails is
( OR ( you can call me or send me an sms, but i prefer sms because I'm always busy in the white house and i can't be able to pick calls all the time.
I will be waiting to hear from you immediately, thanks and God bless you.
Mr.Donald Trump
The president

How unreal can this be? There are too many ways to count. It boggles my mind.

The email address is phony; Trump wouldn’t use a gmail or yahoo email address. The capitalization errors are numerous. There has been no news that the president has had anything to do with the African nation Benin in his 100-plus days in office.

I actually want to call the phone numbers but am afraid to.

Please, please, please, nobody believe this.

Until next time! Use the right words!


June 1, 2017 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Mistakes, She’s Made (More Than) a Few

I received the following email. Let’s just say that I won’t be responding, and neither should you. The number of mistakes boggles my mind.

Hope you caught the song-lyric reference in the title.

Until next time! Use the right words!

Attn: Beloved,
Good morning,

Greetings in the name of humanity, I am Mrs. Deborah Calvert Herman a citizen of Australia but presently in the Malaysia,used to beworking for the federal government, I am 50 years old, I am now anew Christian but from all indication, my health condition is really deteriorating and it is quite severe because i been suffering for a long time from cancer of the Lungs, from obvious diagnosis,I won't live more than 1 year, according to my doctors, this is because the cancer stage has gotten to a very bad stage.

My late husband died last five years ago, and during the period of our marriage we couldn't produce any child. My late husband was very wealthy and after his death, I inherited all his business and wealth.

The doctors has advised me that I may not live for more than 1 year, so I now decided to divide the part of this wealth to contribute to the development of the church in Africa, America Asia, and Europe.

I selected you after visiting the website and I prayed over it. I am willing to donate the sum of $25,000.000.00u.usd (twenty five million United States dollars) to the less privileged.

Please I want you to note that this fund is lying in a security company in Malaysia. Once i hear from you, I will forward to you all the information you will use to get fund released from the security company and to be transferred to your account.

I honestly pray that this money when transferred to your account will be used for the said purpose, because I have come to find out that wealth acquisition without humility, all is vanity.

Please provide me with the following information so I can forward it to a church attorney who used to work at times for my late husband's lawyer.

He is diligent and a Christian so I am confident he is going to handle the transaction with you and lead, advice you on how to secure the funds in your favor.

Information needed:
Full name...................................
Full address......................................
Company and address:...........................
Marital status:...............................
Fax no..............................................
Phone no:............................................

I await your urgent reply. (
Your sister
Mrs. Deborah Calvert Herman

May 23, 2017 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Gallagher: Another Wordsmith

Before I truly appreciated the words and wisdom of George Carlin, I knew of Gallagher.

Most people who know him know that the finale to his act is to smash things with a giant wooden mallet that he called the “Sledge-O-Matic.” The finale always was smashing a watermelon. I remember that, too, from his many Showtime specials in the 1980s. But now, I find the Sledge-O-Matic distasteful, and if I ever go to a Gallagher show, I will certainly sit in the back, away from the “splash zone.”

Instead, I marvel at his word play, such as the following from his 1981 special, “Mad as Hell:”

Why is there so much unemployment when there’s so much work to do?

If you write a check that bounces, … what does the bank do? Charge you more of what they know you don’t have any of.

You look at the pyramids in Egypt. You think, now there stands an example of man’s initiative, hard work and stick-to-it, and it ain’t. It’s a monument to his laziness. It was obviously built by people with diminishing goals.

We buy weights to get in shape; put ’em in the garage, have an electric garage door opener.

Why does it take robbers an hour to clean you out but it takes two weeks for you to move in? Robbers ought to be movers.

Do Indians bother with bald cowboys? (Note: I know the term now is “Native Americans,” but this was 1981.)

What could it cost to put a toilet in a Mercedes? Call it the Outhousen 100. Then the Japanese get wind of it and counter with the Toiletta. Then America comes back the the P-car. He (guy in audience) says a dump truck.

Why can my car take a leak on the freeway but I can’t?

Word that don’t go together: air quality, hamburger steak, military intelligence, House ethics, grand children, marijuana initiative

God made flying squirrels. Why? So they can swoop down and surprise unsuspecting acorns?

Until next time! Use the right words!

January 24, 2017 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Comprise/Compose/Constitute Confusion

Continuing my march through various words people butcher because they don’t know the definitions, we come to comprise, compose and constitute.

I find “comprise”  most often misused. It means to include or embrace all. So, the United States comprises 50 states. It is NOT composed of 50 states.

That’s because “compose” means to create or put together. The United States did not compose itself of 50 states. People did. In doing so, some of these people composed stories or songs.

As for “constitute,” use it only if the other two choices don’t work. But they usually do.

Finally, don’t forget to use include if you’re not listing everything that is comprised, composed or constituted: The 50 states includes Oregon.

Until next time! Use the right words!

September 8, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


%d bloggers like this: