Guaranteed to improve your English

Get the Line Right!

Being a wordsmith, a pet peeve of mine is when people incorrectly quote movie lines.  I recall spending many a summer day in the YMCA pool shouting my favorite lines from “Airplane!” with one special (at the time) girl. Over the years, I’ve heard “Animal House,” “Revenge of the Nerds,” “Gone With the Wind” and so many more ad nauseam.

So, for those who still don’t know, Darth Vader never says, “Luke, I am your father.” It’s “No, I am your father.” And Ilsa never says, “Play it again, Sam.” It’s “Play it Sam. Play ‘As Time Goes By.’ ”

So, here are some others, courtesy of a video I saw online from

Do you feel lucky, punk? — I have never actually seen “Dirty Harry,” but I know the quote is, “Well, do ya, punk?”

Whatculture actually quotes the entire speech: “I know what you’re thinking, did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I’ve kind of lost track myself. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handful in the world and would blow your head clean off, you’ve got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya, punk?”

Hello, Clarice — Hannibal Lecter never says that. He says, “Good evening, Clarice.”

I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore, Toto — No, Dorothy, you’ve got a feeling you’re not in Kansas anymore. And the dog’s name comes first.

I want to drink/suck your blood — Ever since I was young, this was a line I understood to be from “Dracula.” Then I saw the Bela Lugosi version. It’s not there. I thought maybe it got cut. It didn’t. It was never there.

If you build it, they will come — That mysterious voice from “Field of Dreams” actually invites Kevin Costner’s character it build it so “he will come,” meaning the ghost of his father.

I’m ready for my close-up, Mr. DeMille — Actually, it’s “Alright, Mr. DeMille, I’m ready for my close-up.”

You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth! — Go back and rewatch “A Few Good Men” and you’ll see Col. Jessup ask, “You want answers?” Lt. Kaffee shout, “I want the truth!” and Jessup shouting back, “You can’t handle the truth!”

Until next time! Use the right words!


January 4, 2018 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

I’m Well, but the Words Make Me Sick

It’s never fun to get sick. It saps my energy, makes me lazy and prevents me from being productive. But now that I’m better, let’s dive in and make fun of the following utterances at networking events.

It’s going to cost $15 and $5 for kids up to 12 — Do you mean up to age 12 or do you mean up to 12 children? If it’s 12 children, how much does the 13th and every subsequent child cost?

The crabfest was a big crabfest — To paraphrase “Animal House,” Circular reasoning is no way to go through life, son.

If you’re on the list, you’re on the list — See above, although maybe you don’t want to be on the list. In that case, you’re not on the list.

We specialize in pest control, including agricultural gophers — There are 25 types of gophers indigenous to North and Central America, but I can’t find “agricultural” as one of them.

We’ve been blowing up dance floors for years, and we’ll blow yours up, too — No need to get violent. We just want to have a good time.

Thank you for my continuing shirts — Wouldn’t it be cheaper to wash the shirts?

And finally…

Person one: I’m a handyman.

Person two: Can you fix the crack of dawn?

Until next time! Use the right words!

April 18, 2017 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


%d bloggers like this: