Guaranteed to improve your English

They Didn’t Hear What They Said

Listen, my children, and you shall hear, some failing words to not revere.

I heard networkers say the following, and I shake my head and wonder. In the last example, I shake my head and laugh.

You saw the launch of Elon Musk — No, I saw the launch of a SpaceX Falcon Heavy rocket that carried one of Musk’s Tesla Roadster. Musk, as far as I know, is still on Earth.

I’m opening a restaurant on the moon. The food is great, but there isn’t any atmosphere — In addition to the rim shot, I’d like to add that there is atmosphere on the moon. Granted, it’s very scant, almost negligible compared to Earth and inhospitable to humans, but it’s an atmosphere just the same.

Because I’m in this group, I went to my first marijuana store — Just being in this networking group has nothing to do with going to a marijuana store.  The speaker might have meant, “Because I’m in this group, you’ll appreciate that I went to my first marijuana store.”

I thought my car was dying on the vine — OK, I’ve got two problems here. First, “dying on the vine” is a cliche, and we all know that you should avoid cliches like the plague.

Second, a car doesn’t die on the vine. Tomatoes do. Grapes do. Cars don’t. They die on the road, or in a garage or driveway; or in the case of certain sequels, on movie screens (I’m looking at you, Pixar).

Now, I realize that to die on the vine means “to fail, as from lack of support, especially at an early stage.” I know this could happen to a car — and if it did, it would be a lemon, which grows on trees and, therefore, can’t die on a vine.

What’s the biggest reason people don’t get their picture taken? They’re ugly! — A photographer asked the question; another networker answered. I wish I had thought of it.

Until next time! Use the right words!


March 8, 2018 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Proper Speaking is Sometimes an Illusion

I find networkers by nature to be self-starters and very motivated, which you have to be if you want to make any money through networking. But I really wish people would come to me first and ask, “Does this sound right?”

Chances are, the answer would be yes, except in the following cases.

I will go to the ends of the Earth — Recently, I’ve been watching “The West Wing” on Netflix, and a character said something similar about “the corners of the globe.”

The problem is, there are no ends of the Earth and no corners of the globe.

All the wine you can drink. All the food you can drink, too — If I want a liquid diet, I’ll call the hospital.

Tom Hanks was the emcee in the beginning — And who took over for him at the end?

We raised over $4 million for breast cancer awareness — I’ve written about this before. I think people are really, really aware of breast cancer. But we need to raise more money to find a cure.

Also, and I’ve written about this, too: It’s more than, not over.

I want to thank Harold. I have pestilence bad — Harold runs a pest control company. I don’t think he has enough spray and traps and bait and whatever else he has to combat a worldwide epidemic, such as bubonic plague.

I want to thank Jason for helping my Millennium son — Wow. You son is a thousand years old? Impressive.

I asked my millennial daughter what would she say if someone called her a millennium, and she responded, “Time is an illusion.” Apparently, that is something millennials say.

Until next time! Use the right words!

September 21, 2017 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Today’s Weather Lesson: Global Warming, Climate Change and the Polar Vortex

For years, we heard people say and write about global warming and how dangerous it is. More recently, I’ve heard and read more about climate change and how dangerous it is. For me, climate change became more common after this winter, when something called the polar vortex made winter downright ugly for millions of Americans.

Are global warming and climate change the same? Should we have used one more than the other, and had we done so, would we have by now done more about the weather?

I used to think that had we used climate change all along, we would have done more to protect our planet. Instead, we used global warming, which allowed naysayers to speak up and make too many people believe it’s all a myth.

Then I did my research.

Global warming and climate change are not the same. Global warming is an increase in the Earth’s temperature due to increasing use of greenhouse gases. According to NASA, the term became popular in June 1988, when a scientist, while testifying before Congress, said, “(G)lobal warming has reached a level such that we can ascribe with a high degree of confidence a cause and effect relationship between the greenhouse effect and the observed warming.” According to, global warming exists and can be seen in retreating ice caps, dry lakes, increased habitat reduction for animals (think of the now-infamous polar bear on a lone iceberg), global temperature rises, shifts in weather, coral bleaching, sea-level rise and more.

Climate change, meanwhile, refers to a long-term change in Earth’s weather, either as a whole or in a particular region. Many sources I found online say that climate change is always happening because climate always changes. But, says, climate change is not a belief system (as in, “I believe in climate change” or “I don’t believe in climate change).

In fact, ays, “global warming is human-induced climate change.” The Environmental Protection Agency says that increasing surface temperatures causes climate to change.

As for the polar vortex, it is a large-scale cyclone located near the geographic poles. In the Northern Hemisphere, this cyclone is found in the middle and upper troposphere and the stratosphere. It’s always there, strongest in winter and weakest in summer. People might want to claim that because of global warming or climate change, the vortex reached further south than usual, but the EPA said it is data that contributes to the body of evidence of climate change.

So, be careful of the terms you use. They are not the same.

Until next time! Use the right words!

April 1, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Miss is a Miss is a Miss

I read in Time about an asteroid that came within 17,200 miles of Earth. Astronomers call that a “near-miss.”

Airplanes that come within a mile of each other are also considered “near-misses.”

Dodgeballs that don’t touch you because you ducked could also be called “near-misses.”

But really, there’s no such thing. It’s a miss, pure and simple. As I read online, “A narrow miss is as bad as a wide miss — they’re both misses.” Distance has nothing to do with it.

The correct term, of course, is near-hit or near-collision. An asteroid nearly hit the Earth (although I would happily let everything miss me by 17,200 miles). Two airplanes nearly crashed into each other (giving perhaps an origin of missing by a mile?). And that dodgeball nearly hit your head, missing by inches (this is what I call a near-hit).

This is just another one of those stupid quirky terms we invented for reasons I can’t fathom. If I never heard it again, I would not nearly miss it.

Until next time! Use the right words!

February 21, 2013 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Who Uses “Guerilla” Tactics on a “Gorilla?”

I have seen soldiers referred to as guerillas, rebels, freedom fighters, but I’ve never seen them called gorillas. However, I have read that soldiers use “gorilla tactics.”

I assume that means they pound their chests, walk on their knuckles, grunt, bark, scream, roar and eventually evolve to the point that they take over the Earth, turn New York City into a Forbidden Zone, and Charlton Heston discovers the Statue of Liberty buried in the sand.

Soldiers who use gorilla tactics will soon be killed by soldiers employing guerilla tactics. These are unorthodox methods that usually harass and sabotage more formal armies.

By the way, the word can be spelled guerilla and guerrilla. Take your pick.

Until next time! Choose peace not war, and use the right words!

October 28, 2011 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


%d bloggers like this: