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A Theatrical Performance about Puns: A Play on Words

Good writing can be many things: intelligent, thought-provoking, insightful, controversial, humorous, political and clever, to name seven.

It also can be punny, as the following examples I received from a reader show. I wouldn’t be surprised if you find some of these groan-inducing.

Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!

England has no kidney bank, but it has a Liverpool.

I changed my iPod’s name to Titanic. It’s syncing now.

Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid, but he says he can stop at any time.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never seen herbivore.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun set, and then it dawned on me.

The Native Americans were here first because they had reservations.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

The cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn’t control her pupils.

When you get bladder infections, urine trouble.

Broken pencils are pointless.

I got a job at the bakery because I kneaded dough.

A dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary is a thesaurus.

Velcro: What a rip-off!

Thanks to Linda S. for the puns.

Until next time! Use the right words!


May 25, 2018 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Examples of Good Commercial Writing

One of my many services is helping people write their elevator speeches (also known as 30- or 60-second commercials). When I attend networking meetings and listen to the commercials each person gives, I often shake my head at how bad so many of them are.

To be good, a 30-second commercial must be memorable, clever and unique. Often a rhyme helps, as does putting twist on some well-known saying.

Last night, I heard more than my fair share of bad ones. But there were several very good ones.


a travel consultant: “I’ll always tell you where to go.”

a woman who sells cemetery plots: “I sell prime real estate in the dead center of town.”

a computer repairman: “Realtors will tell you that the three most important words are location, location, location. But in computing, the three more important words are backup, backup, backup.”

a mobile notary: “If it isn’t notarized, it isn’t authorized.”

a videographer: “You can’t hear it in a photograph.”

a computer consultant: “I’m available during regular business hours, nights, weekends; no other times.”

a diamond merchant, in her best Mae West impersonation: “Mae West used to say, ‘… diamonds are my career.’ Well, diamonds really are my career.”

a woman who puts out a newsletter for senior citizens: “Keeping seniors more alive with Suddenly 65.”


Until next time! Use the right words!

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October 29, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , | Leave a comment


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