usingtherightwords

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Networking Meeting Miscommunications


As long as there are humans, and as long as there is communication, there will be human miscommunication, as the following examples overheard at networking meetings show:

I do the same thing but differently — Um, OK. How?

My skin-care products protect against free radicals — But paid radicals are a different story, right?

I could talk for a day, but I’d like to go further — I don’t want to hear you talk for a day, let alone more than that! At least he used further correctly.

If you need an extra 100 percent for a party … — Sorry, I don’t have anymore to give.

If your mess causes you stress, and sometimes little kids … I could go so many ways with this one, but I’ll stick with, isn’t it the mess that got you little kids, and the stress, in the first place?

And finally, a joke I like:

At a networking meeting, everyone was asked to conclude their 30-second commercial/elevator pitch by telling where they wanted to retire. One guy said, “I’ll retire when I need new Michelins!”

I laughed. Nobody else visibly or vocally reacted.

Until next time! Use the right words!

leebarnathan.com

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March 13, 2018 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Ham and Eggs Green, a Tempest and a Dream


Apologies to Dr. Seuss and Shakespeare, but…

And to think I heard it at a networking meeting!

A construction worker spoke about flipping houses. I wondered how strong one has to be to physically do that.

The man continued, talking about how he can build a home “from the ground up.”

As opposed to, “from the sky down?”

Oh, the words I have heard!

At a different networking meeting, a printer started speaking about what be does for his clients. The guy next to me whispered, “He’s not flat, so he must be a 3D printer.”

I rolled my eyes.

Lord, what fools these mortals be!

Until next time! Use the right words!

It’s here! My début book, “If You Experience Death, Please Call: And Other Fatal Mistakes We Make With Language” is available on Amazon for only $14.95.  Order here.

leebarnathan.com

June 7, 2016 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Riddle of the Grandkids


A woman walked to the microphone at a networking meeting last night and, after giving her 30-second pitch, gave a five-second “something you don’t know about me” line.

She said: “I have no kids, but seven grandkids.” Then she invited us to figure it out.

My first thought was that she was married to someone who has seven grandchildren and, therefore, considers them her grandchildren as well.

But then I started to think about the words: grand meaning “magnificent or splendid”and kids referring to children and not goats.

I asked her if what she meant was that she didn’t just have ordinary children, she had grand children.

No, she replied, her partner has seven grandchildren.

I guess I was being too clever.

Until next time! Use the right words!

It’s here! My début book, “If You Experience Death, Please Call: And Other Fatal Mistakes We Make With Language” is available on Amazon for $14.95.  Order here.

leebarnathan.com

May 5, 2016 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Two Examples of Misspoken Networkers


Recently at a networking meeting, I heard a speaker castigate somebody’s sales pitch by saying, “I get the reasoning but not the logic.”

I don’t get that statement. When I look up reasoning and logic in a thesaurus, I find they’re synonyms. When I look up their dictionary definitions, I see logic is defined as “the science of the formal principles of reasoning.” When I look up reasoning, I get this definition: “the use of a sufficient ground of explanation or of logical defense.”

At that same meeting, I heard somebody say you could upload something to your computer from a website. Actually, the correct word is download, which means “to transfer from a distant to a nearby computer, from a larger to a smaller computer, or from a computer to a peripheral device.”Upload is the opposite, meaning “to transfer from a smaller to a larger computer.”

Oh, if they only heard what they had said.

Until next time! Use the right words!

It’s here! My début book, “If You Experience Death, Please Call: And Other Fatal Mistakes We Make With Language” is out and available on Amazon. Order now for just $14.95. Contact me on my website to reserve your copy or Order here.

leebarnathan.com

September 21, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

   

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