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Networking Meeting Miscommunications

As long as there are humans, and as long as there is communication, there will be human miscommunication, as the following examples overheard at networking meetings show:

I do the same thing but differently — Um, OK. How?

My skin-care products protect against free radicals — But paid radicals are a different story, right?

I could talk for a day, but I’d like to go further — I don’t want to hear you talk for a day, let alone more than that! At least he used further correctly.

If you need an extra 100 percent for a party … — Sorry, I don’t have anymore to give.

If your mess causes you stress, and sometimes little kids … I could go so many ways with this one, but I’ll stick with, isn’t it the mess that got you little kids, and the stress, in the first place?

And finally, a joke I like:

At a networking meeting, everyone was asked to conclude their 30-second commercial/elevator pitch by telling where they wanted to retire. One guy said, “I’ll retire when I need new Michelins!”

I laughed. Nobody else visibly or vocally reacted.

Until next time! Use the right words!


March 13, 2018 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Read This and Try not to Wince

I am in the process of revamping my networking pitches. I want to alternate educating and inspiring that I can solve people’s communication problems.

Regarding education, I’ve taken to printing up and showing signs that I’ve found online that exemplify bad communication, for one reason or another.

The photo below, of a Dairy Queen, is an example of a double meaning. Too bad the persons responsible didn’t realize it.

Until next time! Use the right words!


March 6, 2018 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Are You the Lone Male They Seek?

Somebody in one of my networking groups sent me this photo.

IMG_0657.JPGWhen I first saw this photo, I thought that this store caters to humans and goats. But my friend pointed out that only one male is part of the desired clientele.

Well, this is a women’s clothing store. Maybe it’s intentional. The I looked on the website and found Fred Levine, men’s buyer.

I tried to call the store during normal business hours to see if it was intentional. No one answered.

Thanks to Richard C. for the photo.

Until next time! Use the right words!


February 8, 2018 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

A Riddle I Can Appreciate

When I go to networking meetings, I expect to hear some kind of nonsense coming out of people’s mouths. But recently, one guy got up and offered a riddle: What is an eight-letter word in which you take away one letter, it leaves you with a different word, and then if you take away another letter, it leaves you with yet another word, and so on?

Actually, this guy usually offers riddles: “Who makes it has no need of it. Who buys it has no use for it. Who uses it can neither see nor feel it. What is it?” (A coffin)

Or “What is light as a feather but not even the strongest man in the world can hold it for more than a few minutes?” (Air)

But this one, really impressed me. The answer is starting.

Take away the second t, and you get staring;

Take away the a, and you get string;

Take away the r, and you get sting;

Take away the t, and you get sing;

Take away the g, and you get sin;

Take away the s, and you get in;

Take away the n, and you get I.

Until next time! Use the right words!


January 25, 2018 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

It Makes Sense Only in Context

It has been awhile since I’ve gone to a networking meeting, but last week, I returned. This time, I bring examples of words people said that made sense — if you were there.

I’m not in the closet because I’ve been in the business 50 years — Of course, plenty of people in the entertainment industry, including some who have been in the business 50 years are gay. Others are gay but don’t feel they can come out.

And then there is the person who said this: She really sells closets.

He helped defeat Prop 8 so we have gay marriage in California — This speaker told of a relative that was an outspoken opponent of Proposition 8, the 2008 initiative that banned any marriage in California that wasn’t between a man and woman. Unfortunately, the voters approved Prop 8; it wasn’t defeated.

Later, Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals ruled it unconstitutional because it violated the Equal Protection Clause (Fourteenth Amendment), so had the relative been an attorney who argued the case, the speaker would have been correct. But he wasn’t.

As we celebrate your nephew’s life and his passing — The networking group’s president expressed his sympathy for a member whose nephew died at a young age. But I don’t think anyone was celebrating his passing.

You want to live for free, you go to Oklahoma. That’s what Oklahoma’s for — Can you really live for free in Oklahoma? I doubt it. The speaker actually made a point that land in Oklahoma is far less expensive than in California.

Until next time! Use the right words!


January 23, 2018 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

“Naked Photographs” and Other Misspoken Words

A guy walked up to me at a networking meeting and told me the words of the day were “naked photographs.”

Given the fallout from Kevin Spacey, Harvey Weinstein, Matt Lauer, Louie C.K., John Conyers — the list keeps growing, doesn’t it? — Bill O’Reilly, Al Franken, Donald Trump, Roy Moore and Charlie Rose, I thought the words of the day (week? month? year?) were “sexual misconduct.” But I listened.

He explained that it the photo itself isn’t naked; it’s the person in the photo.

I’m guilty of using the term “naked photos,” too. It never crossed my mind that I’m really looking at “photos of a naked person.”

I’m also sure that it never crossed the minds of the people who spoke the following that they were misspeaking.

I like to say … — And then you did.

They may not be able to resuss you — The person meant resuscitate. “Resuss” isn’t a word, although there is a British-English word suss, which is slang for “investigate or figure out.” It usually is followed by the word “out.”

Like many have said, it’s December — He spoke this on Nov. 30.

Thanks to Richard C. for the words of the day. Later, he emailed a question, “How do you separate yourself from the competition?”

I responded, “I usually walk away. Sometimes, I drive.”

Until next time! Use the right words!


December 5, 2017 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Smart-aleck Move at the Networking Meeting

At one of my networking meetings, as we went around the room giving our membership introductions (aka 30-second commercials, aka elevator speeches), a woman who already gave hers stood up and apologized for interrupting.

“I have great news,” she said, “Darren is going to have a baby!”

People applauded. People shook his hand. People slapped his back.

I stood in front of the microphone and said with a smirk on my face, “No, he’s not. He can’t. But his woman is.”

She laughed and said, “Lee Barnathan, sit your ass down!”

She’s the same woman who claims this group is like a family, but I’m not sure she meant the laughter. If this group is a family, then I’m the smart-aleck uncle.

Until next time! Use the right words!


November 14, 2017 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Proper Speaking is Sometimes an Illusion

I find networkers by nature to be self-starters and very motivated, which you have to be if you want to make any money through networking. But I really wish people would come to me first and ask, “Does this sound right?”

Chances are, the answer would be yes, except in the following cases.

I will go to the ends of the Earth — Recently, I’ve been watching “The West Wing” on Netflix, and a character said something similar about “the corners of the globe.”

The problem is, there are no ends of the Earth and no corners of the globe.

All the wine you can drink. All the food you can drink, too — If I want a liquid diet, I’ll call the hospital.

Tom Hanks was the emcee in the beginning — And who took over for him at the end?

We raised over $4 million for breast cancer awareness — I’ve written about this before. I think people are really, really aware of breast cancer. But we need to raise more money to find a cure.

Also, and I’ve written about this, too: It’s more than, not over.

I want to thank Harold. I have pestilence bad — Harold runs a pest control company. I don’t think he has enough spray and traps and bait and whatever else he has to combat a worldwide epidemic, such as bubonic plague.

I want to thank Jason for helping my Millennium son — Wow. You son is a thousand years old? Impressive.

I asked my millennial daughter what would she say if someone called her a millennium, and she responded, “Time is an illusion.” Apparently, that is something millennials say.

Until next time! Use the right words!


September 21, 2017 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

People Are At It Again

After being sick for most of a month, I have returned to networking meetings and have heard the nonsense that comes out of people’s mouths. I had hoped the world had changed in my absence; sadly, I knew better.

I do bald hair — Is there such a thing?

Leave a message and leave your phone number. Please repeat it twice — The message, the phone number, or both?

My favorite movie is “Hear No Evil, See No Evil” — Really? The name of the movie starring Gene Wilder and Richard Pryor is “See No Evil, Hear No Evil.”

His favorite movie should be “Liar” with Jim Carrey — I’m guessing his favorite movie really is “Liar Liar” with Jim Carrey.

Until next time! Use the right words!


August 31, 2017 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

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