Guaranteed to improve your English

Better Written But Still Spam

I received the following (obviously) spam email. I usually point out how poorly written these emails are and how they’re clearly not written by someone with command of English, but this one is different. As best I can tell, there are only punctuation problems.

Dear valued member,

It has been a very long time since I emailed you about a rare investment opportunity.

You signed up to my newsletter because you were seeking to only invest in companies
which I can guarantee will go up and I only email you when I know one will.

The last stock I told you to buy went up about 1000% and this next one is guaranteed
a solid 1300% keep on reading to find out why.

INCT (incapta inc) is a drone-maker with proprietary algorithms which essentially
bring drones to life. These algorithms give the drones the capability to act
independent of a physical operator.

Because of they own this amazing technology which they developed in house, they have
been receiving huge attention from the US Army as well as several private firms
including DJI and Amazon.

A guy I work with at a mergers and acquisition firm in New York told me that INCT is
about to be bought out for $1.37 per share on Tuesday or Wednesday of next week. He
has always come through for me.

While INCT may currently seem stagnant, that?s because very few people know about
this imminent deal so don’t let that fool you.

I don’t expect the stock price to swing much in either direction until the takeover
is announced next week, at which point it will shoot up to around $1.37 overnight.

You know what to do if you want to profit when this happens.

Keep it on the hush, but do act quickly.

Best Regards,
Katheryn White

First of all, I didn’t sign up for any newsletter. You got my email address from someone else.

Secondly, and this is important: I received this exact email three times from three different names and email addresses: White (, Abe Ferguson ( and Hassan Whitaker (

I include the names and email addresses as a public service. Now, you can know that should you receive anything from these “people” and these email addresses, you’ll know to ignore them at least and report them at best.

You’re welcome.

Until next time! Use the right words!

March 23, 2017 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Would You Trust This Writing?

I get a great deal of spam email every day. Some of it is simply one line that reads, “Here is the information you requested” or words to that effect, followed by some name and an attachment. Since I don’t know these people and never requested anything, I simply delete. (If you get this email. DO NOT open the attachment. It’s probably a virus).

Then there’s spam like what’s below. What I want to know is, if you’re really trying to scam somebody, shouldn’t you at least get everything spelled and punctuated correctly? It would look much more professional, and it might just fool some people.

I’m diplomatic agent Mr.William Jack i have been trying to reach you on your email about couple of days now, just to inform you about my successful arrival in South San Francisco international airport California, with your consignment box worth $12.3millions. Which i have been instructed by d.h.l courier Delivery Company to be delivered to your home address. The airport authority demanded for all the legal back up papers to prove to them that the atm visa card ready delivery, i have presented the papers I handed to them and they are very much pleased with the papers I presented but the only thing that is still keeping me here is the airport custom yellow tag and international clearance permit certificate. Which is not placed on the package, one of the airport authority has advice that we get the custom yellow tag and international delivery permit certificate which cost $105. Contact me back on sms: +17752384004 / view email ( regard diplomatic. Mr. William Jack

I counted 25 mistakes before I gave up.

Until next time! Use the right words!

It’s here! My début book, “If You Experience Death, Please Call: And Other Fatal Mistakes We Make With Language” is available on Amazon for only $14.95.  Order here.

July 14, 2016 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Checking in with the Readers and Followers

I always appreciate feedback from my readers and followers (except for those who spam me; you know who you are). Sometimes, they catch something I missed.

About my last post, “Some More Words Not to Use,” I wrote that lit is incorrect as the past tense of light and the correct word was lighted. A reader wrote:

Lit is a perfectly appropriate past or past participle for light. Lighted is as well. It depends on the sentence, which sounds best, but both are correct under appropriate circumstances. Google it and you’ll find many references to this.

She was right. I amended the post.

My brother-in-law wrote me:

I’m not sure if you’ve reviewed this word before, but it seems to be quite misused, including by myself: Incredible. Literally, it means not credible. One of its definitions is “impossible to believe” (not improbable to believe…impossible….again NOT credible). Too often it’s used as if the person means (and sometimes also says) “fantastic”, “amazing”, etc.

I looked up incredible in my dictionary. It means “too extraordinary and improbable to be believed.” Not impossible to believe. Improbable to believe.

Then I looked up the word online. defines incredible as “so extraordinary as to seem impossible” (italics added). Impossible and not improbable.

I went to to see if impossible and improbable are synonyms. They are not.

It appears my brother-in-law is correct and wrong, depending on what definition you use.

Just another example of the fun that is the English language.

Until next time! Use the right words!

It’s here! My début book, “If You Experience Death, Please Call: And Other Fatal Mistakes We Make With Language” is out and available on Amazon. Order now for just $14.95. Contact me on my website to reserve your copy or Order here.

November 23, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Spamity-Spam! Wonderful Spam!

Like so many people, I get more than my fair share of email spam. Because of the way my email is set up, I have to go into each piece to unsubscribe. This does’t seem to lessen the amount of spam I get, so I keep unsubscribing.

But every once in awhile, I find something that truly deserves the name spam.

In two separate emails, one touting a way to cut your energy bills to $1.50 a day like it’s done in the Philippines and Korea (if you believe it) and one explaining why President Obama won’t finish his second term (anybody getting these, too?), I found this sentence:

This is spreading like wild fire all over the internet. Make sure you watch the
presentation until it’s over, because the end will blow your mind!

I don’t know about you, but I think fire is always wild. Even when you think fire is under control (and there are such things as “controlled burns” to try and stop fire from spreading), it can get out of control very fast.

Besides, the word is misspelled. I think the only thing spreading like wildfire are these emails.

Also, how does someone blow your mind? Does he or she blow into your ear (I think there’s a blonde joke in here somewhere)? Does he or she make you put dynamite, exploding cigar or bomb in your mouth that then detonates (I think there’s a Bugs Bunny cartoon in here somewhere)?

Besides, the phrase is a cliché, and clichés make your writing less academic, less intelligent and less interesting if you need to fall back on trite words or phrases.

Kind of like the people who send these emails — the same people who don’t know Internet is capitalized.

Until next time! Use the right words!

June 23, 2015 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment


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