usingtherightwords

Guaranteed to improve your English

I Have no Friends in Paris or Thailand


I received the following email. I have no idea what this person is talking about, since I never received any past email, and why am I being thanked for something I didn’t do? How does this convince some sucker to get scammed?

Hello friend, 

Did you receive my last email which i sent to you from Thailand? Anyway, the message was to inform you that I have successfully moved the funds to Paris, France. I am using this opportunity to thank you for your great effort, time and concern you showed to help me out, even though we did not succeed following one reason or the other best known to you. It was with the help of a French business tycoon who was capable of assisting me in this great venture via a diplomatic means. 

For your effort, sincerity, and trustworthiness, you showed at the beginning of the transaction, I have decided to compensate you and show my gratitude with the sum of $750,000. I have authorized my new lawyer who is now also my legal adviser in Bangkok, Thailand to issue you an International certified bank cashiers check which I signed in your favor before leaving Thailand for Paris. I will like you to contact the lawyer for the collection procedure of this international certified bank check, and below is the contact information's of the lawyer:. 

Barr(Mr): Richard Morgan 
e-MAIL: info.ricdmrr@consultant.com
Bangkok Thailand 

At the moment, I'm very busy here because of the investment projects which I and my new partner are having at hand in Paris France. Finally, remember that I have forwarded instruction to the Lawyer on your behalf to send the bank Check to you as soon as you contact him without delay. 
  
Please I will like you to accept this token with good faith as this is from the bottom of my heart. I wish you a strong and successful new year. 

Thanks and God bless you and your family. 

Regards, 
Mrs. Rose George 

Capitalization makes it clear that this is not written by someone whose first language is English. I also wonder if the names are real. Probably not.

Until next time! Use the right words!

leebarnathan.com

May 25, 2017 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

English By Any Other Language


English is such a crazy language that it often doesn’t translate well from other languages. Here are some examples.

  • On the main road to Mombasa, leaving Nairobi: TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE
  • On a poster at Kencom: ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP
  • In a cemetery: PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS, FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES
  • On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR
  • Hotel, former Yugoslavia: THE FLATTENING OF UNDERWEAR WITH PLEASURE IS THE JOB OF THE CHAMBERMAID
  • Hotel, Japan: YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID
  • In the lobby of a Moscow hotel, across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE
    CEMETERY, WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS AND WRITERS ARE BURIED
    DAILY, EXCEPT THURSDAY
  • A sign posted in Germany’s Black Forest: IT IS STRICTLY FORBIDDEN ON OUR BLACK FOREST CAMPING SITE, THAT PEOPLE OF DIFFERENT SEX, FOR INSTANCE, MEN AND WOMEN, LIVE TOGETHER IN ONE TENT, UNLESS THEY ARE MARRIED WITH EACH OTHER FOR THIS PURPOSE
  • Hotel, Zurich: BECAUSE OF THE IMPROPRIETY OF ENTERTAINING GUESTS OF THE OPPOSITE SEX IN THE BEDROOM, IT IS SUGGESTED THAT THE LOBBY BE USED FOR THIS PURPOSE
  • Advertisement for donkey rides, Thailand: WOULD YOU LIKE TO RIDE ON YOUR OWN ASS?
  • Airline ticket office, Copenhagen: WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS
  • Seen in an Abu Dhabi shop window: IF THE FRONT IS CLOSED PLEASE ENTER THROUGH MY BACKSIDE.

Thanks to Eva P. for the idea.

Until next time! Use the right words!

leebarnathan.com

October 30, 2014 Posted by | Uncategorized | , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment