Let’s Face It: English is Crazy

Inspired by something my wife found on Facebook:

Sometimes, I think all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane.

Consider:

— There’s no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger, nor apple or pine in pineapple. A guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor a pig.

–English muffins and French fries were not invented in those countries.

–Quicksand works slowly.

–Boxing rings are square.

–Teachers taught, but preachers don’t praught. Writers write but fingers don’t fing, grocers don’t groce and hammers don’t ham.

–Vegetarians eat vegetables but humanitarians don’t eat humans.

–People recite a play and play at a recital. They ship by truck and send cargo by ship.

–Noses run and feet smell.

–A slim chance and a fat chance are the same, but a wise man and a wise guy are opposites.

–Your house burns up as it burns down, and an alarm goes off by going on.

–English was invented by the human race, which isn’t a race at all.

Aren’t you glad English is your primary language?

Until next time! Use the right words!

leebarnathan.com