If You Only Heard What They Never Said

There are probably thousands of incidences where we know something was said, but the original plays/books/stories/accounts/quotes prove otherwise, as the following examples show.

Elementary, my dear Watson — Nowhere in any of Arthur Conan Doyle’s four novels and 56 short stories about Sherlock Holmes does Holmes ever say this phrase. In “The Case of the Crooked Man,” Holmes explains his reasoning and says “my dear Watson” during it. When Holmes finishes, Watson says, “Excellent!” Holmes replies, “Elementary.”

In fact, according to Simon Whistler, host of the Today I Found Out” YouTube channel, Holmes only says “elementary” eight times in all Doyle’s works.

The phrase comes from a 1915 serial “Psmith Journalist” by P.C. Wodehouse. In it, Psmith (pronounced “Smith”) uses logical deduction much like Holmes. Once, when he finishes explaining, he utters, “Elementary, my dear Watson, elementary,” even though he was talking to a character named Billy Windsor.

Houston, we have a problem — When an Apollo 13 oxygen tank in the service module exploded, ruining a planned moon landing and almost killing the three astronauts on board, astronaut Jack Swigert calmly reported to Mission Control, “OK, Houston we’ve had a problem here.”

When flight controller Jack Lousma requested the message be repeated, Commander Jim Lovell said, “Houston, we’ve had a problem.”

Mirror, Mirror, on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all — This is the line from Walt Disney’s “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.” In the original Brothers Grimm fairy tale, the queen asks, “Magic Mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all?”

Money is the root of all evil — The original text comes from 1 Timothy 6:10: “For the love of money is the root of all evil.” Very different than just saying money is evil. Whistler suggests coveting money is what the Bible warns of.

Music has charms to soothe the savage beast — In 1697, British playwright William Congreve wrote “The Mourning Bride” about Zara, a queen held captive by Manuel, King of Granada. Through deception, Manuel is murdered while in disguise, which so affects Zara that she commits suicide.

But the actual line is “Music has charms to soothe the savage breast” (italics added).

Incidentally, this same play has the line, “Heav’n has no rage, like love to hatred turn’d, nor hell a fury, like a woman scorn’d,” which has been shortened to “Hall hath no fury like a woman scorned.”

Nice guys finish last — Leo Durocher managed four Major League Baseball teams from 1939-55 and from 1966-73. While managing the Brooklyn Dodgers in 1946, Durocher referred to the New York Giants, “The nice guys are all over there, in seventh place.” There were eight teams in the National League at the time, so the Giants were not in last, although they ended there (the Dodgers finished second). 

The Sporting News shortened Durocher’s quote to “Nice guys wind up in last place,” which later evolved to its present form.

Theirs but to do or die — In his poem “The Charge of the Light Brigade,” Alfred, Lord Tennyson wrote about the British light cavalry brigade’s charge at the 1854 Battle of Balaclava during the Crimean War. But he actually wrote, “theirs to do and die” (italics added), which is quite different. Tennyson wrote that the soldiers knew it was a suicide mission. The phrase as we know it suggests there is a chance to survive. In reality, 118 men died, 127 were wounded, and about 60 were taken prisoner. Only 195 men survived.

Of course, there are so many more: “Play it again, Sam,” “Luke, I am your father.” “Beam me up, Scotty.” But those are so well known. Maybe these aren’t as famous.

Until next time! Use the right words!

leebarnathan.com